Thursday 15 July 2010
When I got high on life
From going crazy while posing to going crazy while dancing and going crazy and crazy and crazy- yes i did it all!
Thursday 11 February 2010
Small things amplify! Oh, yes they do!
A few years ago, I was on a train in the UK, looking out of the window. I wasn't in a very nice phase of my life, hence, overflown with thoughts, I didn't notice when i got teary eyed. As soon as I noticed a tear rolling down my cheek, I looked around to make sure no one noticed me, whilst wiping it off. Just then, I caught the eye of this wise old man sitting in front of me. He gave me then, what I really needed the most- a smile. Just that tiny gesture, made me say to myself: Girl, It really isn't that bad after all!!
I would never know who he was, but that moment when i connected with him, shall remain with me forever. Sometimes, when i m low, i remember this incident, and every time- I smile!
A few days ago, I came across a similar incident, sitting on the metro, looking straight ahead i saw a woman with her little child. She seemed pretty upset and had this vague expression that made me sad. I couldn't help looking at her and just wanted to make her feel better. She looked at me, and i smiled at her. And yes, it worked! She smiled back, her face brightened up, and she hugged her little child. The rest of the journey, she didn't stop playing with her kid. I loved to see that and pray whatever issue she had, it gets sorted out soon.
Such was the power of this small gesture I witnessed. And seriously, it really doesn't take much to give a smile.
Coincidentally, the same day, I reached a busy metro point, where getting out and coming in, required preparing oneself for a battle to avoid being crushed in the stampede. The train stopped, I was ready to go out, and on the other side, this young girl, was all set to barge in. The few seconds it took before the doors opened, we conveyed to each other the ironic hilariousness behind us 'getting all ready'....how? - with a smile!
I confess, I love this language! :D
Saturday 9 January 2010
While you walk ahead....look what you left behind.
A normal day in India usually starts with noisy train platforms ,jammed roads and over filled buses coupled with an annoying background music of eerie sounds, as everyone struggles to reach work on time. The kind of picture we see as we move out of our homes depicts everyone's urge to make it to their future. However, a few days ago, whilst India was busy planning its future, a one and a half year old baby girl was being raped by a heartless, pleasure seeking individual, aware that everyone is too busy pushing each other around and trying their best to step ahead of every one who comes in their way!
A ruthless individual, yesterday, got the courage to take a child and fool around with her and the child, just an 18 month old baby, went through the most monsterous activity ANY one could ever face. I understand, how a lot of other things happen in this world that could be termed 'horrendous'.What i dont understand is why, knowing that a horrendous event took place in our vicinity, there wasnt a pause.
Why didnt the noisy train platforms go silent, why didnt the cars on the jammed roads drive themselves behind the rapist, why werent the over filled buses en route to justice. WE, yes me and you, have created a very sad world. I wont even go into the much serious issues that have successfully been able to create unbearable misery.
But i wonder, am i just supposed to hear about this and feel sorry.. I heard this incident today and found out 19th November is popularly recognized as Worlds Day for Prevention of Child Abuse.
I heard this for a reason.
An individual can make a difference but the rate at which the evil in human mind plots and plays is much much higher than the exisitng 'difference creating' momentum.
I am not sure how i would describe myself to stand against it. But i believe, there must have been some way in which that innocence in the baby girl could have been preserved. There must be a limit to all evil.
While you sit with all the gadgets and branded clothes around you, a moment of thought on social issues exisiting around us, would be the first drop in the ocean of a difference, YOU could make.
This incident is so overwhelming, i am really not able to express what i feel in words..However, It did make me pause, it truly did.
The root lies in strengthening every existing system. I am going to play my role, i want you to play yours. There are ways- Lets figure them out.
A ruthless individual, yesterday, got the courage to take a child and fool around with her and the child, just an 18 month old baby, went through the most monsterous activity ANY one could ever face. I understand, how a lot of other things happen in this world that could be termed 'horrendous'.What i dont understand is why, knowing that a horrendous event took place in our vicinity, there wasnt a pause.
Why didnt the noisy train platforms go silent, why didnt the cars on the jammed roads drive themselves behind the rapist, why werent the over filled buses en route to justice. WE, yes me and you, have created a very sad world. I wont even go into the much serious issues that have successfully been able to create unbearable misery.
But i wonder, am i just supposed to hear about this and feel sorry.. I heard this incident today and found out 19th November is popularly recognized as Worlds Day for Prevention of Child Abuse.
I heard this for a reason.
An individual can make a difference but the rate at which the evil in human mind plots and plays is much much higher than the exisitng 'difference creating' momentum.
I am not sure how i would describe myself to stand against it. But i believe, there must have been some way in which that innocence in the baby girl could have been preserved. There must be a limit to all evil.
While you sit with all the gadgets and branded clothes around you, a moment of thought on social issues exisiting around us, would be the first drop in the ocean of a difference, YOU could make.
This incident is so overwhelming, i am really not able to express what i feel in words..However, It did make me pause, it truly did.
The root lies in strengthening every existing system. I am going to play my role, i want you to play yours. There are ways- Lets figure them out.
At first we live, then we co-exist and in the end we are just alive...
On September 11, 2001, I was having lunch when my dad called up and asked me to turn on the television to see the WTC go down. It was then when i saw the word 'terrorism' being defined and portrayed visually. As i kept growing up, i was exposed to international terrorism activities with political motives, accompanied ofcourse, by horrendous killings. But it wasnt until a few months ago, i realised how immature i was being by not acknowledging the same at all levels.
I wonder how scary it would be if we realise from within, how capable we are of perpetuating fear, and how mere vindictiveness can get you on the path of terrorism. My note, does not deal with any sort of international horrendous activites, but those that we come across while we walk out of our doorsteps.
Fight against terror, shall we? Then should you go help your neighbour, who raises up his kids in so much fear, they arent able to face the world? Should you go help that woman, who has been exposed to so much domestic violence and lies on her death bed? Or should you go help that man, whose sons have resorted to unethical means of existence, or go help that mother, whose daughter isnt getting married because she comes from a lower caste? Should you Go help that father, whose hands cut off in a factory incident?
Your mind is a dangerous weapon. The kids raised up in fear MAY face the world if they are determined. That woman COULD have gotten up and fought, if she knew she could do it. That man COULD have done without his sons, if he knew he didnt have to suffer for them. That mother WOULD have got her daughter married off, if she didnt consider herself to be from a lower caste. That father COULD look beyond his loss and live.
Easy said? Yes, easier said it is, because each one of them has been subjected to a form of terror. I cite examples. that were primarily communicated to me. There may be millions more to be cited. In every home of the less fortunate, is a weeping heart, crying for a saviour or a heart of stone, expecting nothing but the worse.
There are phases in life, good ones, bad ones, worse ones, best ones. All of them come in a cycle. For some this cycle stops at a point and refuses to rotate further, until, the word destiny decides to oil the rusted spindle.
Expectations are an indirect means to mockery, a weak heart in this world is subjected to criticism, an asking hand is looked down at, lest we realise the terror within them. Yes, evolution says survival of the fittest, but hey, these people are here. Dont let evolution take care of them.
Whose fault is it anyway? circumstance, people, time? What is to blame. We may verily walk past the victims, slipping in a line 'Thats what destiny had in for you, thats what is life'
If it is true, i would say my title has done justice. When man came to earth, he was alive...he learnt to co-exist and then lived, and now as the process reverts...every human being in the end may just end up being 'alive'.
Some people have an option, some may have to choose. But in the end,we should acknowledge terror, before we are forced to.
Your words can do wonders in people's lives- Inject postivity, Convince prosperity, create hope for peace. Also, Listen to opinions, it may save lives.
P.s- May Allah grant her the highest place in Jannat.ameen. [The woman whose story inspired me into writing this]
I wonder how scary it would be if we realise from within, how capable we are of perpetuating fear, and how mere vindictiveness can get you on the path of terrorism. My note, does not deal with any sort of international horrendous activites, but those that we come across while we walk out of our doorsteps.
Fight against terror, shall we? Then should you go help your neighbour, who raises up his kids in so much fear, they arent able to face the world? Should you go help that woman, who has been exposed to so much domestic violence and lies on her death bed? Or should you go help that man, whose sons have resorted to unethical means of existence, or go help that mother, whose daughter isnt getting married because she comes from a lower caste? Should you Go help that father, whose hands cut off in a factory incident?
Your mind is a dangerous weapon. The kids raised up in fear MAY face the world if they are determined. That woman COULD have gotten up and fought, if she knew she could do it. That man COULD have done without his sons, if he knew he didnt have to suffer for them. That mother WOULD have got her daughter married off, if she didnt consider herself to be from a lower caste. That father COULD look beyond his loss and live.
Easy said? Yes, easier said it is, because each one of them has been subjected to a form of terror. I cite examples. that were primarily communicated to me. There may be millions more to be cited. In every home of the less fortunate, is a weeping heart, crying for a saviour or a heart of stone, expecting nothing but the worse.
There are phases in life, good ones, bad ones, worse ones, best ones. All of them come in a cycle. For some this cycle stops at a point and refuses to rotate further, until, the word destiny decides to oil the rusted spindle.
Expectations are an indirect means to mockery, a weak heart in this world is subjected to criticism, an asking hand is looked down at, lest we realise the terror within them. Yes, evolution says survival of the fittest, but hey, these people are here. Dont let evolution take care of them.
Whose fault is it anyway? circumstance, people, time? What is to blame. We may verily walk past the victims, slipping in a line 'Thats what destiny had in for you, thats what is life'
If it is true, i would say my title has done justice. When man came to earth, he was alive...he learnt to co-exist and then lived, and now as the process reverts...every human being in the end may just end up being 'alive'.
Some people have an option, some may have to choose. But in the end,we should acknowledge terror, before we are forced to.
Your words can do wonders in people's lives- Inject postivity, Convince prosperity, create hope for peace. Also, Listen to opinions, it may save lives.
P.s- May Allah grant her the highest place in Jannat.ameen. [The woman whose story inspired me into writing this]
The Feelings of Helpless Patriotism
http://uk.youtube.com/watc
It’s not about Shahrukh saying this, it’s about image he presents of an ideal Indian and its about Amir saying in his blog, ‘What I would really like to see emerge from all this is the youth of this country starting a political party. A group that stands for strong, clean, honest and fresh leadership. A group that we can all support'.
Yeah, they all said it, but I believe deep down we can feel it too, each of us, who were glued on to the TV sets those three days felt it, the frustration, the disgust, that feeling of helplessness, that feeling of gratitude for those who fought bravely. It also built a critic in us, a critic of the entire system, a critic of the operations being carried on. Moreover and most importantly, it built in us a patriot, it built in us an Indian and more than that it built in us a Human.
No, I cannot do what Amir said confess, i can’t initiate it, and certainly not alone. However, if initiated, I believe I won’t step back, neither of us would. Unless i m empowered to apply my own beliefs, all i would be left doing is quoting words of faith, screaming out slogans of patriotism and end it there. And honestly, that is what has always happened. Movies like Rang de Basanti and Yuva, wakes up the Indian in us and then we are exposed to live telecasts portraying the extent of helplessness a citizen of India is in, that puts it back to sleep. The real world ain’t like a movie, I agree, but how different is it, when it affects us to such high magnitudes. When it inspires us and propagates the feeling of unity among each of us. A population so large, it’s impossible to unify thoughts, statistically applied, it evens out extremes. Well, apparently we have been hit hard by the extremes. Extremes not only comprise of our own spreading terror, but also those who prioritize self bliss over nationwide success. The powerful, they are, they limit opportunities and smirk at those who tried. And eventually, so do we, saying what they did no one could do, and cite examples.
Amir continued in his blog saying ‘In my opinion, you really want to change things? Change yourself. Each one of us needs to take a very honest look inwards and rectify and work on what we think is wrong with us. If each one of us does that individually then there will be a sea change in our society at large. I have to promise myself that I will not be corrupt, will play my role in society with honesty and sincerity. Doctors, lawyers, judges, people in the IAS, police force, media persons, businessmen, job workers, labour force, everyone. We have to stop thinking of our own individual gain and loss and do what is honest, true and right, and think collective. It calls for personal sacrifice in this time of chaos but from chaos will emerge clarity. Even if we don’t manage to achieve this for ourselves we will achieve it for our children.’
Felt good to read it, but the next second I feel so artificial thinking how long would this stay in all of us. How long would this statement of his matter to me. Would i just have heated arguments, discussions and end it there. Or would a time come when actually a change would come.
I, as an individual, believe, Allah had given me a world in which i was supposed to gather deeds, and secure my space in heaven. Everyone who follows my religion is my brother and those who don’t are my equal. To those elderly in and around my family who succumb to the negatives of the system, I m a better human. But how long would circumstances let me stick to his belief.
Clearly, there is something expected from each of us, what? We all know deep inside. We fail to realise it. The other day i remember telling my friend from Sri Lanka, ‘your country needs a Gandhi’, ironically it crosses my mind now that how less do we need another Gandhi. He was needed when our nation was hit by the then terrorists for us. He freed us and left, our nation was going through the same then. Most of us being born and brought up later wouldn’t know the intensity of the situation. I wonder if it was any different. Even then he called upon the youth of the nation, shunned their aggressiveness, converted them to the religion of faith and gave us victory. The youth, this time, is being called on again. This time what is different, we know. We support, we pray, but then we have our lives to take care of. So did Gandhi. We are far from our country. So was Gandhi. We know the truth. So did Gandhi. We don’t have an identity strong enough to bring about change. Neither did Gandhi. We are not empowered. Gandhi was. We aren’t empowered because we chose to give power to those whose effective governing capabilities have been exposed pretty well.
I don’t sit here and bluff without realising I am equally guilty, equally frustrated and equally helpless.
I remember sitting down with friends in Saudi and talking about our country saying things like let them give the country to us for one day and we will show them how to run it. But when each of us went back home, we were disappointed, disgusted, we were lost. Let alone the nation, we first had to make a place in the society so different from what we thought to be a perfect, sensible society. We had to suddenly live up to the expectations of the materialistic world so much that all our expectations drowned in the whirlpool of the surroundings. With time, we were embedded into the same situation- ‘Where are we?’. We were so lost. Some still are, cross identities. Drastic changes. Confusions. Eventually- disgust. I myself didn’t feel any different from the rest.
Why do i feel more responsible when i go out of India, because i feel i wasn’t there when things happened, or because my presence would have made any difference? Its human nature I presume. Nothing more or less. But whatever it is, it does contribute as we all identify ourselves as Indians, we unite ourselves, trust each other and somewhere, love each other. And as Amir said ‘Allowing love, peace and trust to grow within us is not a sign of weakness but a sign of immense strength.’ I hope and pray this strength shall prevail and overpower each of us in such a way that we all one day, with a Gandhi inside each of us, drive out the elements of fear, communalism, hatred and eventually terror from every corner of our country, and strongly identify ourselves as Hindustani. A ‘Sthan’ of ‘hind’. A ‘Sthan’ so different from every other country in this world. A unique ‘Sthan’ where peace and harmony prevails. This of course is a perspective which i doubt would ever be true. It won’t. Period.
My views may be contradicting a readers perspectives but i am not here to propagate a controversy. Mine are a random flow of thoughts i wanted to share. There are many other well and better acknowledged with the entire situation, and with different perspectives and beliefs, i support and respect each of them. If I m to be contradicting, contradict me with a sense of making me understand and not with spite. As a naive individual, I call for statements that make me understand what should be done and why in compliance to what i believe to be right and true. That is how a youth more honest, more practical and more sensible would emerge out of me, instead of making me go against my own nation.
Yes, people may have different views on what SRK says about religion, but one of the things that got me thinking was 'I explain to my children the holy Quran in English, which makes it easier for them to understand'. True, the Quran is meant to be read in the language it was sent, but honestly i respect him for what he does. To know what the Holy book says is more essential than knowing how to read it. People before had the stamina to do both. But as for now, even this little effort could bring about changes unforeseen.
Islam propagates harmony and not violence. A lady used to throw garbage on Our beloved prophet (PBUH) everyday when he crossed her path. The day she didn’t do that, he went to her house to ask if she was well and found out she was sick. He sat next to her and prayed for her. This is what Islam is all about. Patience, harmony, peace. As has been said in the interview, I follow the Islam of Allah. And I choose to understand it myself. Sanely.
‘ Jhuth ka badhta jaaye raaj o baapu
aapne hi ho gaye dhokebaaz
aaj hamein apnon se bachale
aaja re baapu mere
paai paai mein insaan bika re
jaan yeh ho gayi sasti re
soya zameer baapu phir se jaga de
aaja re baapu mere’
Thursday 30 October 2008
Resisting Moonlight.....
I feel like not sleeping tonight
The morning mist fills up my sight
A ray of hope penetrates my soul
And I feel I am alone no more
Another day brings another adventure
Sometimes i confess, i be a pretender
But with the hope and excitement that fill the day
I choose to wipe those thoughts away
As night paints the sky black
It makes me ponder over all that I lack
I console myself it shall end soon
I sky gaze for hours and track the moon
Do i run from the silence around?
Or do i crave to hear your sound?
I am not sure of whatever is my plight
But If i have to see it,
I wish there were rainbows at night.
Wednesday 27 August 2008
Being the player who played against fate
Whenever i sit and look around,
This "feeling of belonging" is never found
I watch in silence, abandoned and forlorn,
I search for the place, people call home
I pledge to oversee,
I Try hard to be a different me
I breathe, i eat,i stay pure without sin,
I stay alive as death seems to be within
I m hurt, and i express, i m filled with choice,
I sigh, i cry, i die, and rejoice
The past has been burnt, and turned into flame,
Rekindling fumes rise up, and make life the same
If this O fate, is the game You call life,
You've called for check mate... i struggle to survive...
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